Be careful what you wish for. How many times have we heard that expression? Does anyone really ever pay attention to it? I know I didn’t. How would wishing ever actually do anything worth worrying about? If wishes were horses, we all would ride…right? I was depressed and totally dissatisfied with my life. I kept wondering about the road not taken. Kept regretting all the choices I made, or didn’t make. What if I had found a way to finish college? What if I had not married John so young? I could never be satisfied with my life because I felt a huge hole in it. I was plagued by thoughts of “I could have been so much more.”
My husband and I had issues, but he was a great father who loved his children. My children. The one bright spot in my life, they were my world. I adored my three beautiful, wonderful children. Even when they exasperated the hell out of me (which was often), I couldn’t imagine my life without them…until they were gone. Until my entire life, everything I knew, was gone forever.
I still don’t know what happened, but this is my story.
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